Why me?

Good question. Now let's see if I can answer that for you.

Back in the good old nineties when I was ever so excited to receive my first period little did I know about the journey that would begin.

From the age of 13 I was struggling with extremely heavy periods.. flooding, leaking in my bed on holiday, every month doubled over in pain and struggling to walk. I tried painkillers, hot water bottles but nothing worked. Finally mum decided enough was enough and took me to the GP.

"Oh its just heavy periods, some girls get them." or "You can't be in that much pain, it's only for a couple of days or so". It was relentless. Meanwhile I was a schoolgirl just trying to get on with my already confusing life as a pubescent child. Finally after several visits to the GP I was put on Tranexamic Acid to try and stem the bleeding each month. Unfortunately this didn't work and I was swiftly put on the pill instead. All this before my 14th birthday.

So this worked for me, right? WRONG!

For years afterwards I had the same symptoms. Every month would be an absolute nightmare of blood and pain. My GP tried changing the pill, giving me the Depo Provera injection but nothing worked. Even though my school years were disrupted with time off and the effect the symptoms were having on me I managed to get all my GCSE's to a high standard. I went through college and university with things gradually getting worse and worse, including my mental health.

I felt so angry, I was all over the place. One minute I was high as a kite, the life and soul of the party. The next, in bed and not wanting to connect with a single soul. Why was I having so much trouble? It was impacting on every area of my life now as I moved into the world of work. One thing I figured out quite quickly was that the world of work was only tailored to fit one size. If you were ill at all you were going to have some trouble.

I said to myself, I didn't have an illness, I had PERIODS. These made me ill. However employers were certainly not geared up around staff health and wellbeing at the time. I remember one job timing how long we took in the toilet... not great if you are struggling with heavy, painful periods.

Luckily upon moving to Kingston Upon Thames in 2007 (over 11 years after I started my periods) I was sent to a Gynaecologist who, after lots of investigations, decided to give me a laparoscopy. I had never heard of this before, I was new to the jargon, new to getting past the GP's.

After my laparoscopy I remember a Consultant coming over to talk to me. He told me I had something called Endometriosis, I would be treated with some injections into my tummy and that all should be ok. I thought it was a minor thing, something I could get rid of.... a menstrual cold perhaps. Little did I know at the time that there is actually no cure for Endometriosis and that I would have at least 4 laps for my Endometriosis in the future. It came back every time... I just knew by the dragging sensation in my legs whenever I got my period that it had returned. The back ache, fatigue and gastro symptoms all came back even though I tried every avenue to get rid. I undertook chemical menopause using Zoladex and Prostap on and off for several years, all to no avail.

Whilst all this was going on my mental health was in decline. Something wasn't right, one minute I wanted to start new businesses, socialise, work all the hours I possibly could, then suddenly I would become so down and withdrawn; depressed and lonely.

One GP suggested it might be something called PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder - a very severe form of PMS, about 5% of women live with this) and that I should ask my Gynaecologist to screen me for it. My Gynaecologist decided to treat me using Prostap injections to avoid progesterone as this is the trigger for this condition. This however was unsuccessful and seemed to do nothing other than aggravate things. Eventually it was decided that I should have my ovaries removed then six months later I had my uterus and everything else removed. After seeing a private Psychologist I did eventually get a diagnosis of Bipolar 2 rapid cycling and the medication has done wonders for my mental health!

I was plunged into surgical menopause at the tender age of 33 and began to experience some of the awful symptoms that can come hand in hand with perimenopause and menopause. Brain fog, forgetting words, sweating like crazy, low libido, dry vagina (yes! I do use words like vagina, vulva and clitoris - we need to know our bodies ladies!). I was prescribed HRT in the form of tablets, then we moved onto patches and now I have gels as well as localised oestrogen vaginal pessaries.

I have been in surgical menopause now for six years. I can't say it's been easy as I am still trying to find the right dosage and type of HRT to suit me however recently my quality of life has improved. I have several very irritating symptoms of menopause such as itchy skin, hot flushes and brain fog but I have managed to put some life hacks in place to make these a little easier!

If you are in a rut, feel like you need some light shedding on your situation or just need some support around your menstrual health/wellbeing or menopause journey, why not book a free introductory call today and we can have a chat and virtual cuppa. It's important that you feel comfortable with your Coach and that you can work together to achieve the goals that you want so much. I am here to support, listen and ensure that you reach those goals and maintain them. Go on, drop me an email at hello@clairscrimshaw.com